It's not your loved one's fault if they don't know who you are. No matter how often you try to correct their current reality, you will only increase their confusion and cause stress. Let them think you are whomever they think you are. You can then listen or ask them what they'd like to do. You may learn about a relative or friend and how this person was important to them. Maybe they will tell you about activities they enjoyed, places they lived, or other significant events from their younger years.

Live in their moment, in their reality. Their mind loses the ability to comprehend their current place in time. Let them live in the world where their mind takes them. No matter how often you try to correct their thoughts, you will not succeed. They are not trying to be obstinate; they no longer have the brain capacity to know what is happening in the current moment. Let their mind revert to the place their mind has taken them. By doing this, you will decrease their confusion and agitation.

Here are a Few Ways to Support Your Loved One:

• · Give them affection with kind words
• · Reassure them they are special and loved 
• · Hold their hands as you would with a young child 
• · Listen to old comedians and skits from their younger years 
• · Let them laugh. As they say, laughter is the best medicine.
• · Provide activities to decrease boredom 

Ways to Diffuse Anger and Boredom

A great release from boredom, which causes stress and actions of anger, is to provide an alternative. Make cookie dough with their help. Let them form and roll the dough. After cooking and cooling, let them decorate to their heart's content and maybe even follow up with a tea party. Very important, if they make a mess, let it go. Think of them as a child just learning how to bake. Give them praise no matter how the cookies turn out and tell them how much help they have given you. Let yourself be silly and make them laugh. If they get tired and cannot finish the project, move on, let them rest, and then clean up. You might suggest a tea party with their cookies if they are still physically going strong.

Practicing play with your loved one will bring them joy and make them feel important. This is a true act of love and a love that will produce loving memories when they are gone. You'll remember how happy you made them and provided freedom from their boredom and isolation. It's a win-win for all.

You cannot change what's happening in their mind, but you can bring rays of sunshine occasionally. It isn't a fairy tale with a happy ending. Providing activities, love, and talking about the subjects from their memories and their current realities will go a long way to making them feel loved.

The Alzheimer's journey is often a long and isolated road. It can seem overwhelming and lonely. If this is how you are feeling, you are not alone. The caregiver's role is grueling. There will be times when you will need a break. If you need help, contact your family and friends to see if someone can lend a little support. Even a few hours will help; longer is better, but any time will allow you to decompress. Remember, you are just one person; you cannot be everything to everybody. 

I was in your shoes. I ended up in the hospital. At first, they thought I had a stroke. I received good news after several days in the hospital for multiple tests. I was physically healthy but under dire stress. As a person who has experienced the Alzheimer's journey, I understand some of the difficulties associated with being a caregiver. Everyone's experience will vary, but there are many commonalities we can share and learn from others' experiences. You must take good care of yourself to take care of your loved one. Show your loved one affection and give yourself a little love. You and your loved one will be better for your self-care.

Thank you for visiting. My mom had Alzheimer's disease; I now dedicate myself to helping others along their journey as a tribute to my mother.